Let me ride my bicycle to go to the beach...

Our twins are now off for the summer. Those three months of holidays for the children are supposed to be a time for creativity and relaxation; a time for my kids to be their age, to play and have fun!

When Leila and Yasser finished school last week I took some time off to be with them. Last year, I took them to the beach, as it is the only place where we can breathe in Gaza. But nowadays the beach represents a public health hazard. With more than 70 million litres of sewage discharged into the sea everyday I simply cannot take my children to swim.

This year we spent our family holidays without electricity and I could not take my four kids anywhere to play or visit relatives because my car is completely out of fuel. Instead, like so many other families in Gaza, we stayed home, revised school topics, slept and ate (when I was able to find enough pieces of cardboard to light up the fire under the clay oven). The children need to have fun but what kind of fun can we provide? Buy toys? Even that is out of the question because it's too expensive and the toys are of poor quality.

They really want to go to the beach. Everyday they run to me, trying to convince me to take them. I resorted to going to the nearest shop to buy sweets and take their minds off the beach trip.

Nevertheless, it was good to have some time off to be with my family. But I felt guilty because I was not able to fulfil the promises I had made to the kids earlier this year. Because they study so hard I really wanted to treat them with new toys but the blockade makes me, and so many other parents, lie to our children to preserve what is left of their childhood.

My kids are sometimes talking like young adults and it scares me. They are aware about what is going on in Gaza and they ask questions about it. When they ask about people suffering or why we can't do things, I have to give them an answer, but I would rather see them be carefree.

We talk a lot every night. I want to make sure that, at least, they have enough time with me and my wife. They are so young... they should not carry any responsibilities or injustices on their small shoulders, especially at six years old! It makes me so sad but not only because it's my family, but also because I know the same is going on in other homes.

Speaking about my wife, she hasn't been feeling too well lately and I had to take her to the doctor last week. She had to do some tests and the doctor finally told her today she developed a problem with one of the bones in her back. Well, guess what? The treatment she needs is not available in Gaza. She is always in pain and has bad headaches. I had to explain to the kids to be really gentle with their mother and to be as quiet as possible. Just over a year ago, she could have left Gaza to get a treatment in Israel or Egypt, but right now we feel uncertain about the future.

I look back at the last year and despite it all, my family can rejoice for a gift we welcomed with open arms a few months ago; a fourth child! She was born in March and I am hopeful for her and her siblings.

It's the story of my family I share with you, but it's also much more than that. Our story echoes in almost every home of the Gaza Strip and this is why I take the time to tell it like it is. I feel a responsibility to talk about personal details that are, in fact, representative of all of us here in Gaza.

My family is just a generic example of what the last 365 days of total blockade did to us: our lives are tougher by the day, we are scared for our futures but most importantly we see our children growing up too quickly and leaving their innocence behind...