Sarah, Han, Farah, Kate.

Our VIP ticket competition winner Kate Murphy reports back on parrots, pink men and z-list celebs at V Stafford. Oh, and she watched some bands, too.

Location: V Festival, Staffs 2006

Weather: Rainy, very, very rainy.

Music: We Are Scientists, Weller, Razorlight, Hard-Fi and Kasabian, baby!

People: Kate and Han (courtesy of Oxfam) plus two straggler VIPs called Farah and Sarah.

Arrived about midnight on the Friday (not advisable as the high-viz steward kids will be drunk and point you in any direction to other high-vizzers - someone hand them a map!). Stumbled around trying to find tent space (like the big girls we are), and got our tent up by 3.00 am just in time for the first drink of the fest. How hardcore are we?

Separated at birth? Hannah and Heidi Sugababe.

It's time for some good old rock 'n roll, starting with Dandy Warhols and, err, Sugababes. Yeah, you may mock, but they were amazing and don't you think Hannah bears a striking resemblance to Heidi? We figured Heidi was probably thinking there was a mirror in the crowd or something! All danced out we venture to the VIP area but are confronted by the shocking sight of z-list Hollyoakers, surely even we're more famous then them?! Burton and OB - seriously, where's Weller?

Safely pac-a-maced (looking slightly like we're on a school trip) we head to see Hard-Fi. Oh how we sang, much to the annoyance of those around us. They did a cover of Seven Nation Army, it was good. Next up, Weller! Weller! The man. The ledge. What can I say apart from the fact that to me he is the equivalent of Jesus and God combined.

He included old favourites like Wild Wood as well as new ones From The Floorboards Up and C'mon Let's Go but the ultimate highlight of my entire weekend was when he did actual real-life Jam classic, Town Called Malice, hell-yeah he did!

Han and Farah

Razorlight of course! Although did catch some snippets of Morrissey, such as Panic. Back to the wonder of Johnny Boz, how does he get his whites so white? It's a mystery, especially as it was really very muddy. Perchance The Boz was piggybacked to the stage by minders? He took his shirt off, how we screamed! (Yeah, like put it back on now!).

Razorlight were brilliant, did the old favourites and new stuff from brand-spanking new album. Highlights included Somewhere Else, America and Vice. Also sang a bit of Kings of Leon at the end of one of the songs and showed off by singing a very long high note - go Boz go!

Raced to main stage to see those lovable scally ragamuffins Dead 60s. I love them quite possibly more than I love life. Nothing like a bit of skanking in the morning. Afterwards we return to VIP Bar and spot Farah's hero and number one crush - the one, the only Matt Willis! What a beautiful man he is, such a talent. Unfortunately we had to tear our transfixed eyes away to go the bar and head for Kula Shaker. Later Willis, later - we gots to go!

A-tuta-vada vada TATTVA! Ahh, OK so they're old and the new stuff will never surpass the old but hearing Hey Dude, Hush and Tattva was a very beautiful thing. Sadly no 'Govinda jaya jaya' etc. (Child of the 90s alert!). Next up Orson who were awesome, ha ha! I know, I know - not really hardcore rock but don't knock 'em until you've seen 'em. Still don't know why he wears that hat. Answers on a postcard, anyone?

Squaaaark!

What's this? Walking back towards main stage we get accosted by two 'friendly' men dressed as parrots. If you were there, you knew about these seemingly innocent chancers! Made us 'kiss their pecker' and everything, the swines!

I feel Hannah/Heidi drew the short end of the parrot-stick as she was subjected to parrot-kidnap and all manner of unmentionables. Cover your eyes kids! See how innocent she looks (if not a little terrified) in the seemingly happier times before her ordeal. We're still appealing for witnesses to this sad crime...

After consoling a somewhat subdued Han we decided that only the promise of gazing upon (We Are Scientists) Keith Murray's beautiful face could rectify the situation...

Han makes the cover of NME.

We Are Scientists did not disappoint, arriving onstage riding mini-bikes and crash helmets then launching straight into a riff-filled set with hits aplenty. They played It's A Hit, Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt and practically the whole of With Love and Squalor which in my humble opinion is one of the finest debut albums I've heard in a long time (if you don't already own it go buy it now).

Han recovers thanks to the appearance of her favourite Scientist, Chris. You know the one who has been plucked straight from 1976, glasses and all. They ended on the epic singalongable monster that is The Great Escape. Then it was back on their bikes.

Apologies to the boy who lost his beer during the set, I can't help it if I get a bit overexcited and we still can't work out what his band was that he attempted to write on Farah's hand - seriously need to work on that PR mister!

Somehow miss Bloc Party, don't know how, gutted. Think it may be as we are busy drinking and eyeing up Tom Meighan (Kasabian) in the VIP disco/bar area. Apparently Bloc Party refer to our Parrot friends and warn the public to be on their guard. Ahh bless them, they truly care (Bloccers that is, not them filthy birds)!

Beck in a very nice hat.

A bit of Beck, who wears nice hats and had puppets of the band backstage. Very impressive but had to sacrifice him out of loyalty to kind of local but not really Editors, soz Beck...

Editors well worth the sacrifice, spouting something about it being a homecoming as they went to Staffs uni. Hmm, isn't one from Solihull and the rest from Exeter? (Don't quote me on that.) Anyway, they played a great set including Camera and Bullets and what's this? Keith Murray and 70s We Are Scientist Chris join Editors on stage for a spontaneous rendition of REM's Orange Crush. Think I've actually died and gone to heaven.

The girls (with Man in Pink)

Kasabian! If you haven't seen Kasabian live, you simply haven't lived. They played a brilliant set featuring songs from debut album and new songs from Empire. Empire single went down very well, as did new favourites Shoot The Runner and The Doberman. But it's the anthemic chorus' of Club Foot, LSF and Processed Beats that win the day. Never have a field of unwashed, stomping angry hooligans felt so at one! Although Tom kept calling us f**kers, ungrateful swine.

As we are dirty rotten liggers, we hang around the VIP bar like a bad smell to catch the last glimpses of the stars they call rock. Finally spotted some good'uns including The Murray and fellow 70s Scientist Chris, Kele from Bloc Party, Chris Editors and Alan from The Rakes. But no-one was quite as impressive as 'Man in Pink', he truly is the epitome of star! Future star is 'Man In Pink', you heard it here first.

Many thanks Oxfam, we had funs aplenty! Roll on next year.

Hope you enjoyed reading about our fun and frolicks!

Kate x