Don’t go veggie

Reformed vegetarian Peter Rice argues the case for meat in his diet.

I, like many other meat-eaters, disassociate what is on my plate from the animal that was slaughtered. It is very common for “vegetarians” to eat fish, but the Vegetarian Society condemns these people to be fake vegetarians, since fish, like pigs and cows, are animals, which feel pain when they die.

Meet Simon. He’s not too bright, he’s got no job, he’s overweight and he’s got atrocious personal hygiene. You might think Simon is a waste of space. This would be true, of course, if Simon were human. Fortunately, Simon is a pig, and is therefore very tasty when cut up, fried and served between two slices of buttered toast with a generous helping of ketchup. Yum.

Simon will be killed humanely and will not suffer any pain. He will be stunned, and, whilst still unconscious and unable to feel anything, will be slaughtered by a trained professional. The details are rather grim, agreed, but Simon remains a happy pig and unaware of his fate right up until that stunner clamps around his brow. A similar process is used for other animals. Of course, this is an ideal scenario, and there are many animals that do not get slaughtered as humanely as Simon: in badly-run abattoirs, animals get cut open after the stun has worn off; fish caught in the net suffocate once brought into the open air; shellfish, even more brutally, are often boiled alive.

So, why, when someone says the dreaded pre-dinner-party line “I’m vegetarian”, is the first question often “Do you eat fish?” It is very common for “vegetarians” to eat fish, but the Vegetarian Society condemns these people to be fake vegetarians, since fish, like pigs and cows, are animals, which feel pain when they die. Many of these “vegetarians” follow their diet for purely nutritional rather than moral reasons. Red meat, in particular, is off the menu due to its high fat content. However, there are risks in taking red meat out of your diet, as it is a good source of protein, iron and B-vitamins. If these are not replaced, deficiencies in these nutrients could cause problems. As an alternative, fish supplies plenty of protein and the Vegetarian Society recommends a list of foods which are good sources of iron, including chickpeas, spinach and baked beans.

It is at this point that I have to confess that I was once a vegetarian on moral grounds. Being a vegetarian, particularly at school, was very tough, and I dropped to an unhealthy weight very quickly. This was accentuated by the fact that I love meat and don’t really like vegetables, so hacking into my tofu steak on Christmas Day while everyone else gorged themselves on turkey and chipolatas was particularly depressing. What really shocked me, however, was the amount of different types of food which instantly become immoral for me to eat: many gelatines used, for example, in jelly and marshmallows (animal ligaments and tendons); most brands of Worcester sauce (anchovies); some cheeses (animal rennet); and, bizarrely, many wines and beers (filtered using isinglass, derived from the swim bladders of tropical fish). The limitations placed on my diet, I’m ashamed to say, shook my moral resolve somewhat.

You may wonder, therefore, why I am not more sympathetic towards Simon’s plight. A few years ago, I would have said that we were abusing our position of control over him. I still believe that this is the case, but the fact is that he tastes too good, and I, like many other meat-eaters, disassociate what is on my plate from the animal that was slaughtered. This makes me a hypocrite and I am well aware of it. So, I have nothing but admiration for all the faithful vegetarians out there, and I have also resolved not to eat fish or shellfish, but Simon, I’m afraid, is most certainly on the menu.