Women's stories: Tamanda from Malawi

In her final story to commemorate International Women's Day, Amy Merone talks to Tamanda, who was diagnosed with HIV soon after fleeing her home country of Malawi.

''I was very lucky because I was the first born so I was able to go to school but, my sisters, they were not able to. Instead they would just help me with the sewing or buy a few bits and sell them at the edge of the roadside.''

Tamanda Banda*, born in Malawi's largest city, Blantyre, is the eldest of ten siblings. As the first-born, her family could afford to send her through primary and secondary education. At 20 she married her husband and gave birth to their daughter, Chisomo*. After finishing her studies she trained to become a seamstress and successfully set up her own dressmaking business.

Tamanda says she felt lucky. Many women in Malawi are starved of education. Boys are much more likely to be favoured to attend school than girls - something Tamanda knows only too well. She says that the cost of educating children in Malawi meant that her family only paid for her brothers to go to school.

"I was very lucky because I was the first born so I was able to go to school but, my sisters, they were not able to. Instead they would just help me with the sewing or buy a few bits and sell them at the edge of the roadside."

With the money that Tamanda made from her dressmaking business she would send home enough to support her siblings and her parents. But, when her husband died, Tamanda faced pressure from both sets of parents to remarry her husband's brother. Refusing to do so and facing the recriminations of her family, Tamanda fled the country and claimed asylum in the UK.

"I stayed with my cousin when I arrived here and told the authorities what had happened," she says. "At the same time I became ill and was later diagnosed as being HIV positive. Initially when I arrived I was given housing and benefits but, when my asylum claim was refused, I was moved to Manchester and was given social services accommodation."

Tamanda, who earned 12,000 kwachas a week in Malawi (approximately £50), now receives less than £40 a week on which herself and her daughter must live. Her HIV means that she often feels unwell and tired and she can't afford to buy what she needs. She says that in Malawi she and her husband worked hard for what they had but, here in England, her refugee status means that she cannot work. The fact that she is HIV positive means that, if she were to return to Malawi, she would never be able to afford the anti-retroviral drugs she is on.

"My hope was that I would be able to work in this country to make money for my daughter. As it is, I am prevented from doing anything. If I go back to Malawi I won't be able to afford the treatments that I am on now. So tell me, what do I do? I know where I come from but I have no idea where I am going now."

* Names have been changed to protect identities.