Actor, author, artist, Antony Sher grew up with a profound sense of being an outsider, uncomfortable at home in South Africa, and totally out of place as Rifleman 65833329 during conscription in Namibia. Small, weedy, Jewish, painfully conscious of his unfulfilled homosexuality, Ant, as his mother called him, found refuge in art, later in theatre and escape to London. Initially turned down by RADA and Central, he went on to create a series of triumphant stage performances - including Richard III, Macbeth, Pam Gems' Stanley - and to become the first actor of his generation to be knighted. His novels have been acclaimed, as have his theatre-journals filled with his own illustrations. Creativity is Sher's rush, although there was a time when a cocaine habit threatened his survival. Whether describing the battle with this growing dependency, or the sinister paradise of white South Africa in the fifties, or his personal experiences of theatre figures as diverse as Olivier, Stoppard and Mike Leigh, he writes with remarkable candour, wit and great style. In this unique autobiography, Antony Sher takes us on a personal odyssey through the approvals and dismissals, awards and addictions, doubts and dreams which have characterised his first fifty years.